the cooking manual

Take a handful of willing timewasters.


Give them plenty to drink.

Woo them with your place. So much so that they would want to live there themselves. In fact, make one of them make you an offer you'd be challenged to refuse had you gotten drunk enough to consider it in the first place... (Look mum, no names!)

BUT !! Make sure you give them more to drink next time so they don't notice stuff like...

(Moldy old dessert stuff and expired condiment)

Then, hide your books, so that no one finds out who your biggest inspiration is.

And lets be honest here, after Delia's last appearance on telly, haven't we all burned her books? Of course not... but she was asking for it, wasn't she?

As it stands the crumpets were nice. Though, calling them mini pizzas was certainly misleading.

I blame Delia, not Isabelle. Let’s be clear on this here.

Next, we had more drinks. Got all merry and rather hungry. Found out that Sasha is no connoisseur but rather a very hungry youngish man. He insisted on eating our secret guest's crumpet (it must be said that our secret guest lives in a different time zone to the rest of us and only thought of getting ready to come to dinner party round 1:30AM. our secret guest was supposed to be rather special. and no, it was not supposed to be Brad dressed in drag. though, that certainly would've been special. maybe a bit predictable. but special non the less.)

Anyhow, the main was absolutely lovely. Delicious. Satisfying. Though it might have taken a little longer than 30min to cook. Again, I blame Jamie Oliver, not Isabelle. I think he highly underestimated how long it takes to cook certain things when you don't have 15 assistants chopping and cleaning and generally maintaining your sanity.

We then all retired to the living room to play some game that no one knew how to play and drink some more drinkies... waiting for the marvelous dessert to bake...

Okay, now, look at those pictures... what do you see? Have you noticed the concern? The microwave? But most importantly the effort?

Ahhh... the damn thing spilled and burned. And we couldn't rescue it. But by god we tried. Look at it, it looks so yummy.

Instead we had Green and Black's ice cream. With sparklers.

It got as all rather happy. Some happier than others...

Isabelle's dinner night

Luq's menu

welcome to the devil's playground

I'm sorry Luq, but I'm going to sum up all night based on that marvelous portrait of Clemens Schick by Nan Goldin. She's my personal favourite and you own an amazing print (even if that print lives inside a wardrobe).
First, I must point out that Luq has immaculate taste. and I mean immaculate - it's spread across everything - from perfectly aligned books (Luq admitted to book shopping with a ruler) to matching pictures and themes for each room.
(that little kid on a tricycle is baby Luq)
We were treated to an African dinner in Africa themed room.
But first, there were cocktails!
Followed by a lovely starter.
Main.
And dessert!
(Brad wasn't part of dessert)
Then Sasha arrived! Slightly late, but I guess, it's better late then never. If Luq was cross, he didn't show - a truly perfect host! Sasha went through every pot and stuck his spoon into every dish.
Here I must point out that while Luq hides his love for Nan or Clemens, he has no qualms about hiding his weed pot.
(it's right outside his kitchen window)
The night finished with us chatting about life, work and vino.

"A lot of people seem to think that art or photography is about the way things look, or the surface of things. That's not what it's about for me. It's really about relationships and feelings...it's really hard for me to do commercial work because people kind of want me to do a Nan Goldin. They don't understand that it's not about a style or a look or a setup. It's about emotional obsession and empathy." - Nan Goldin.

Come dine with Pete!

Harry's night

Champagne was drunk in Kensington, degrees were discussed, and drums were played.


Harry impressed guests with a rather large starter of seafood risotto (minus the seafood!)





This was followed by 2 options for a main, and a dessert which oozed calories. Expensive wine was drunk.







Natalie told some rather revealing stories and demanded that Harry played 'Can you feel it coming in the air tonight' by Phil Collins on the drums - Harry obliged.


Guests left chilled, tipsy and in the snow.

Natalie's night

Meal started off with amouse-bouche of beetroot gazpacho (which had frozen in the freezer whilst guests drank in the lounge)

Dessert was suspected to be drug-related...

Micheal was the star of the evening, and Natalie entertained by reading her guests Angel Cards.

Guests left full, a little drunk and with a glimpse of the future...